Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
