Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
