After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
