All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
