Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
