how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
