you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
