why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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