talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
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