Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
