I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
