Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
