Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
