this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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