Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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