and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
