problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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