Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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