I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
