I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
