i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
