it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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