so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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