I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
