Sry I called you an 8
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
