i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
