Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
