Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
