I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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