yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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