Duck Duck Cougar?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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