my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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