stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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