Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
