I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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