I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
