I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
