He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
