Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
kristin has been a bad kristin
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
