im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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