I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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