Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just want nice things and good sex
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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