She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
