I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
