Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
