If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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