Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
