Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
