your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
