Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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