Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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